Meet Miranda

Miranda under my desk

Aw, my puppy.  She's not really a puppy anymore - she'll be four on June 10th! I'm really surprised I've gone this long without introducing her, because she is my best friend.  I work from home, and Miranda sleeps under my desk when I work.  She jumps into my lap when I cry (and she's no lap dog), she sleeps in a play tent next to my side of the bed, has the worst farts ever, and has the energy of 400 toddlers.  She loves treats (or p-nutters, as we call them), walks (we go on them everyday), and strangers.  She will lead a robber to the most expensive television we have. She loves to wear jackets and gets a little squirrely when you take her collar off.  Miranda has a red ball that she knows by name and I swear we will have to bury her with it.  She has a full toy box and has destroyed every single one of her toys except for her red ball. She is a German Shepherd-Pitbull mix and is scared of frogs, loud noises, the vacuum, thunderstorms, the mop, the old beagle down the street, and the giant stuffed dog in our bedroom. She is currently licking a cardboard box, because hey - why not?

My husband guarding himself from sleepy puppy farts. 

Miranda's nickname is Alabama (I was watching too many Hannah Montana episodes, I think).  She is a rescue dog who was born when her stray mother walked into a junk yard and got knocked up by a guard dog.  She had three puppies, all girls. Miranda's sisters were all attacked by the junk yard dogs and had to be put to sleep.  Her mother also got attacked but survived.  We think Miranda escaped because she loves to hide under things and was probably under a car where the other dogs could not get to her.  My husband wanted a dog so bad - he wanted a German Shepherd or a pitbull so keep me company while he was at the fire department.  He was doing some construction on a guy's house and this guy told my husband about this little puppy his brother was trying to get rid of. When Tim found out her breed, he was hooked.

I wanted nothing to do with it.  I didn't want a dog because we were so busy.  But then I heard her story and I knew we had to at least go see her.  When we got to the junkyard, my husband grabbed that puppy and never let her go.  Great, I thought.  We have to take her.  Otherwise I'll feel like a puppy killer.  So we took a very smelly Miranda at 12 weeks old.  She was actually named Jacqueline but she didn't know her name yet, so we took it upon ourselves to name her after Miranda Lambert.  I figured she would be a bad ass like her namesake, but turns out she's a huge wimp. I am so thankful I said we could take her home, because she is such a perfect addition to our family. By the way, she is still licking a cardboard box.

What else can I say about her?  She tried to play with a possum once and accidentally killed it instead (which is good, because that possum was trying to kill her and she didn't realize it).  She once caught a raccoon and freaked out once she actually got it in her mouth, so she let it go.  She can catch birds mid-air.  My dad was once playing fetch with her and instead of catching the ball, she caught a bird and brought it back to him. She has caught countless mice.  She has found a ton of frogs, but refuses to go near them.  Hopping creatures scare her, apparently.  She has never meant to actually kill any animals - she just wanted to play. I mean that.  She has been attacked by two dogs on three separate occasions (once she required stitches) and she never once retaliated.  She is just not that kind of dog.

She has learned how to play tag with my niece and has even wrapped her head around the concept of who is "it."  If there is a dog on TV, she cries.  When I shower, she breaks her way into the bathroom like a freak and lays down on the floor.  Sometimes she does this when I pee and I have to tell her to go away.  She doesn't. To my husband's dismay (and my delight), she stopped growing at 50 pounds even though the vet thought she would reach 70 or 80 pounds.  When I was pregnant, she slept on my husband's side of the bed instead of mine (she never does this).  She was jealous already. When we came home from the hospital, she quickly secured her old spot at the bottom of my feet.

In our first house, when she was a puppy.  She slept underneath my jacket and I couldn't find her until I spotted her little puppy feet.  This is the same rocker that is in Conner and Ben's nursery. 

Miranda's first Christmas with her new goose toy.  She tore it apart just to get the squeaker. 

When we first got her.  We were putting up Christmas lights (more like my husband was and I was watching).  I asked Miranda if she wanted to be in the picture and she promptly sat down and looked right into the camera. 

In our first house, when we first brought her home.  She looks so little here!

This is the stuffed dog she is scared of.  My husband won it at Six Flags and we named him Moonpie. There were a lot of strangers laughing at me carrying it out. 

Christmas 2013 - Miranda got Tim a gift certificate to the fire store.  

Our Christmas card (2013).  She hates those reindeer ears, but doesn't she look so cute?

When we were in the hospital with Conner and Ben, she required a babysitter.  Overnight. She's needy. Tim's dad  and brother took shifts with her.  They tried to wear her out before we came home by playing frisbee with her for hours.  It didn't work.  There is no off button on this dog. When we got home, I couldn't be near her because I was so angry that she required so much attention that I just could not give her.  I regret that.  She was so worried about me.  

I know she would have been a great dog to Conner and Ben.  She loves kids.  She's so gentle with them and follows them around everywhere.  I know they would have loved her, too.  I always imagined them playing with her in the backyard (and when they were older, we would have made them clean up the dog poop back there).  I imagined her playing tag with them and getting really protective over them when strangers were around.  I figured she would sleep in their nursery instead of her little tent in our master bedroom.  I saw my little boys trying to ride her like a horse and Miranda not caring at all.  Maybe she finally would have had two little buddies who could wear her out.  

It's early, but its bedtime.  Time to read to Benjamin and Conner and time for Miranda to somehow take up 75% of our bed.