Weekend Review: Lake Geneva

HELLOOOOOO BLOGGER WORLD!!! It feels good to be writing again.

In a couple of hours, I will be dropping Jordan off at my mom's house to catch up with writing, run some errands, and hopefully nap. Sleep, I miss you.  I used to feel guilty dropping her off somewhere in order to get some things done and take a nap, but after some time I realized that asking for help makes me a better mother.  I pick her up refreshed, and she is a happy baby after getting ALL THE ATTENTION FROM EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE ALL DAY LONG OMG SO GREAT. Right now, Jordan is currently taking a long morning nap (probably because she refused to sleep last night). So that means this mama gets a head start on blogging.

Tim had a rare three day weekend with a day off from the FD. So after packing enough baby supplies to go on a month long vacation, we made our way one hour north... for a three hour trip to the zoo. I know that Jordan is much too young to take interest in the zoo, but she loves going outside and being in her stroller.  Seriously. Take this girl outside and watch her head constantly turn to take in her surroundings. She goes so quiet and so content and so relaxed. So I knew she would like the zoo, simply because she would be outside.

And I was right. She gave absolutely zero cares about the animals.  She even gave exactly zero craps about all the noise from the waves of school children on their last field trip for school.  These kids were ravenous.  They were out for blood.  I've never seen so many frantic adults chasing kids, little ones being knocked over, and and overall disregard for human space. We picked the wrong day to go to the zoo, for sure.  Jordan hates loads of noise, but that day at the zoo she just kinda looked at me... eyes wide open... then it was all "whatever, I'm outside."

And then she fell asleep. The. Whole. Time. Nothing like a stroller induced nap, huh?

So I bring to you... Jordan's first trip to the zoo, starring Jordan and the Baby Jogger City Select (and some zoo animals, but you know, whatever).

"OMG MOM I LOVE THE ZOO.  What's the zoo again?"

"Mommy, no one can see my zoo outfit with my bib on! But everyone can see your bra strap. EW GROSS."

Sad. My baby is asleep.

Like a boss.

"Hi, animals!"

"Mmmmm, yummy thumb!"

So gross. 

So scary.

She is clearly thrilled with the giraffes.

Animal print for the zoo!

One of us is excited.  Can you guess who?

I want to bring them home.

Daddy and baby. 

Her stretching face.  Someday she will scream at me for taking this picture... and then posting it on the internet.

I like their gum. Remember the 5 seconds of awesome flavor you got from it before it ran out?

So sweepy. 

We also took a trip to Lake Geneva this weekend.  Hey, did you guys know that when you have a baby, you can't really do stuff on vacation - like zorbing, renting wave runners, ziplining, binge drinking, laser tag, or even just playing beach volleyball for fear that your crappy volleyball skills will result in a volleyball in your baby's face while she sleeps in her stroller? I actually had quite the baby friendly weekend planned out until we found out the orchard/winery was closed for a private event.  Fruity wine for parents and apple picking with Jordan would have been perfect in the 72 degree weather we were having. But maybe it was just as well. Jordan was more alert at Lake Geneva, and you should have seen this baby's frantic head turning back and forth looking at all the scenery.  She was nothing but smiles and laughs all weekend long.  We shopped along main street (new octopus wubanub for Jordan, books for the boys and baby girl), ate too much (home made ice cream AND frozen yogurt in a four hour period. perfection), walked along the beach, stopped by the park, and just spent some relaxed family time together. It was just what we needed.

"HEY MOM!!! Look at that sign!!!"

View from resort room

She's yummy.

 No way am I gonna let daddy nap!!!

All this candy, but nothing is as sweet as me!!!

One of many food stops. I'm paying for it dearly.

Lake Geneva

Perfect 72 degrees, sunny with a slight breeze

The morning we left for Lake Geneva, I stopped to talk to Conner and Benjamin.  We have been on trips, both long and short, since we lost them.  But this time was different.  This time was with their sister.  A family vacation, without our two boys. I told them that they should tag along with us.  I really hope that they are with us wherever we go, especially during family time like this.  Tim, Jordan, and I took a picture in front of the beach.  The man who so kindly took our picture smiled and said, "what a beautiful little family."  It took a lot from me to not say that we are actually a much bigger family, but no one can see that.

It doesn't matter, though.  Because we know we are a much bigger family.  We are a family in our hearts.  We are complete with them. And no matter where we go, we take them with us.

Weekend Review: Mother's Day and Jordan is BAPTIZED!!!

Mother's Day this year was bittersweet.  Last year, I spent it with my husband missing my boys, grieving over their due date - coincidentally, the day after Mother's Day, waiting to move forward with our FET, waiting for news on whether or not my mom had cancer (she did), and wondering if I would ever get the chance to spend this special day with a baby in my arms. 

This year, I did.  But every Mother's Day for the rest of my life, I will forever be missing two. I will never get over that.

Mother's day this year was pretty, well, boring. We did a whole lotta nada. Ever since I was pregnant with the boys, I always imagined my first Mother's Day would be spent at the zoo.  I wanted to walk around with my babies in their stroller, taking in the spring air, and seeing all the animals.  I knew they would be too young to care about the zoo, but I figured they would love going for the walk.  This year, I wanted to do that with Jordan.  And then, because it's spring, it rained like an asshole all day. So I spent Mother's Day doing laundry. So. Much. Fun.

Mother's Day in the church nursery, visiting her Auntie - the only place we made it to on actual Mother's Day!

Not to say that Mother's Day wasn't great. Jordan got me a spa gift certificate (much, much needed!) and Conner and Benjamin got us tickets to see The Book of Mormon, which we went to see this weekend. Verdict? Highly offensive and freaking hilarious. My kind of good time. I've wanted to go see this since FOREVER.  The writers of South Park did what they always do: entertain, offend, and then, at the end - make a very good point. What if religion is all made up?  Does it even matter? Look at all the good it is doing in the world.

Most importantly, laundry or not, I got to spend the day with Jordan. Everyday with her is a perfect day.

But the best part of the weekend was baptizing my daughter in His Name, welcoming her into the church, and spending the day with our closest 40 family and friends who love Jordan and recognize how special it is that she is here, healthy and happy.

While she was being baptized, I was hit with a wave of emotions. My last two children to get baptized died shortly after. Their baptism was short and bittersweet.  There were no pictures of their baptism, no Godparents present, no church.  They were handed to me and baptized as soon as I could get my arms around them. I only remember their baptism in my mind and heart, and even then - I'm not sure exactly what was said. I only know how grateful I am that they were able to be baptized in the name of the Holy Spirit before they went to heaven.

And here Jordan was, being baptized, in all the pomp and circumstance that these traditions have to offer. Was this real? Thank God it was.

I wondered if she would cry during the baptism, but while she was getting water poured onto her head, she looked around and up at me in wonderment and just let life happen.  This is a very big deal - Jordan is NOT a laid back baby.  I expected tears.  I expected screaming. I was armed with pacifiers in her diaper bag (which goes against my pacifier rules of only letting her have it when she's sucking her thumb or fussy at night). But she smiled and let people hold her and took pictures like a champ.

Then we got to the lunch, and she was hysterical.  My baby does not do well with crowds. She gets overwhelmed very easily. She had her bottle late and took forever to finish it because she was so distracted (and distraught) over the people trying to get her attention. She pooped on her daddy, had to change out of her lunch outfit, and bawled when being changed into her new lunch outfit. Three outfits by 4 pm.  Four outfits, if you include her jammies from this morning. Very impressive. Regardless, she was, of course, the center of everyone's attention. AND she kept saying mama, in front of other people, so now it doesn't sound like I am a total liar.

So many people told us how glad they were to see us so happy. Tim's former captain took the time to remind us of how Conner and Ben had tiny feet, but left big footprints.  He told us that in their log book at th FD, he routinely puts two crosses next to special events that happens - for Conner and Ben. That way, they ride with the guys everywhere they go. They are always with us.

Conner and Ben helped make this day, and we will never forget that.

I'll leave you with obligatory baby pictures :) You didn't think I would end a post without them, did you?

First outfit of the day: baptism dress made by Grandma, used by both her girl cousins before her. New tradition?

Oh, the headband :)

Outfit two, before pooping on daddy

Bottom Layer: confetti cake with raspberry preserves

Top Layer: banana cake with strawberry preserves

On her third outfit of the day

From her Godparents, complete with two blue beads to represent her guardian angels

Weekend Review: March for Babies

This weekend marked the second time Team Conner and Ben walked in the March for Babies. It was a beautiful day out in downtown Chicago, and we loved the time we spent with our family and friends. This year was particularly special to us, since it was Jordan's first year participating for her brothers.  Jordan even got $200 in sponsorships for the walk :) We passed our team goal of $2,000 and raised $3,338 for premature babies. The joy in my heart is indescribable.  You all know that I want my boys' legacies to be love and light, and I felt that we made a difference in the world on behalf of them this weekend.

Aw, my baby marching for her brothers. 

Are you excited, Jordan?

You bet your ass that's a minion bow in her hair for her brothers!

Sweet home Chicago

Beautiful day along Lake Michigan

I said it was a beautiful day.. and it was. But it was like, 40 degrees outside so she was bundled up!  Complete with ducky bib. 

Thank you to everyone who donated to our team - it means the world to me that you joined us in continuing Conner and Benjamin's story and honoring their lives in such a positive way.

In other minor news, I cut my hair. Yep. I mean, you probably figured that out from the pictures above. I had so much hair, I was able to donate two ponytails to cancer out of it (it would have been more, but I had so many layers framing my face that it was unusable).

Tim and I also had our second "date day."  Why days instead of nights? Because this way, we get to NAP ALL DAY after we get lunch. For real. Try it some time, new parents. Totally beats date nights, unless you find an amazing babysitter who will take your baby overnight.  Jordan is too young for me to feel comfortable doing overnights just yet, so date days it is!  This mama had an amazing margarita at lunch, and I got to snuggle up with my husband for a nap before we went to get our baby from my moms.  Much needed.  Time to ourselves makes us better parents when we get her back.  Not to mention, we desperately need time to ourselves for the sake of our marriage.  Everyone who has kids knows what I am talking about - you still need to prioritize your marriage, but it is so hard when your baby monopolizes your time (no complaints, though - I love every minute with Jordan, even the poopy ones).

Someone had a good time at Grandma's!

I wish I had time to write more - I hope I can soon.  But I can hear Jordan fussing in her nursery, and it's time to pick my baby up :)

Much love to everyone still reading.

Weekend Review: Jordan's First Easter

Slightly off center, but I had to include the boys. Also, it is impossible to get a great picture with both dog and baby, so Jordan is here mid-yawn and Miranda is facing the wrong way in true family picture fashion.

Holy whoa, when was the last time I did a weekend review?!?!? I think the reason it's taking me so long to do one is because lately, my weekends have consisted of being pooped on, breastfeeding, and trying to master the art of eating and holding a baby at the same time. Ain't no one got time to read about that boredom.

Jordan's first Easter basket - and you bet those pajamas say "little sister" on them!

The great debate - is this a bunny or a fish with a bow on its butt?  (It's a bunny)

It was a beautiful day out. Jordan finally got to wear her first dress today, which unfortunately was ridiculous since baby dresses tend to ride up and never actually stay on the way they are supposed  to. She was flashing her diaper everywhere she went. Cookie monster, anyone? He's on size 1 Pampers. Nonetheless, she looked freaking adorable.

After church, which she thankfully slept through, we headed over to my in-laws'  house. This was also the first time a lot of our family got to see her, so there was lots of attention on her. Jordan does get overwhelmed with a lot of people around, but after she got a full tummy she was happy to oblige in the attention. Just like mommy - overwhelmed easily. Just like daddy - happy when fed. Apple, meet tree. Tree, meet apple.

All this excitement is exhausting, mommy!

Jordan's first Easter egg hunt, complete with ducky bib

Spoiled girl! With some Conner and Ben extras :)

It was like second Christmas for her. She made out with a ton of stuff (along with some stuff that was for her brothers). But, she's 7 weeks old so she cared about her ton o'loot exactly zero percent. Mommy was excited, though!

Christ has risen!  Last year, I spent Easter alone while Tim was at the fire department. My sister in law came to keep me company for awhile, but nothing could keep my mind off Conner and Ben. But because Christ lives, my boys are in heaven. I know they were watching over their baby sister on her first Easter, and always.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!!!