I spent days and days looking for outfits to take Conner and Ben home in. Minion outfits? Little onesies with ties? Outfits with puppies? I knew I wanted them to compliment each other, but I didn't want them to match. Bunker gear like daddy? I think so!
I seriously want to buy these and put them in their closet. I know they'll never get to wear them. I know I'll never get to bring them home in these outfits and take insane amounts of pictures of them. But I feel like maybe we should still have these things that we so carefully picked out. I obsessed over what to take them home in until I found something perfect for our boys. I just can't believe we never got to put anything on them. If I could go back in time, I would have asked for more things to be brought to the hospital for them that were from home. I would have had them cremated with those items. But almost everything they had during our short hospital stay were from hospital volunteers. How do you prepare for losing your babies?
I'm so sorry, boys. I can never make this up to you.
I'm so sorry :( I had purchased a knitted hat and diaper for Elijah's newborn photos. It makes me sad that he never got to wear them.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! This post breaks my heart. Although I know the pain of infertility, I don't know how it feels to lose the babies you've carried and were planning on bringing home. I'm sorry you've had to experience this. My hubby is also a firefighter so this post just really hit me. Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you girls. Melissa, I am so sorry about Elijah. I know how hard it is when your babies don't go home. I hope you kept his hat and diaper. Jessah, many hugs to you as you go through this journey of infertility. What a hard road we are on....
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