Baby bump, first day of school, and cake (sounds like a 16 and pregnant episode)

So yesterday, we got some not-so-good news and I kind of went... nuts.  But, Tim reminded me that we have to keep fighting for this baby and so.... here is our 13 week update.  Trying not to let the bad news keep me from celebrating milestones like this. Hopefully we will have many more :)

How far along? 13 weeks

What's happening with  baby? Baby C has fingerprints and is almost 3 inches long!  S/he also weighs a whopping ounce (which of course, does not explain my major bloating this week).  Baby is the size of a tangerine and will grow about 1 inch a week from now on (good for baby, bad for my pants).  Little nugget can suck his/her thumb and smile.   

Total weight gain: I have no idea. Yesterday, I was up a whole pound (and the picture above shows how my belly is slowly getting thicker).  But today I am noticeably thinner, so maybe it was all bloat.  I'm refusing to step on a scale until next week because quite frankly I don't care how much I weigh right now lol.  This baby can get me as fat as it wants. 

Maternity clothes?  Nope, but lately I've been pants-less around the house. 

Stretch marks? Nah.

Sleep: Not well.  My sleep is riddled with anxiety.  Poor little baby. 

Best moment this week:  Tim came home early yesterday to basically wait on me hand and foot after we got the news of the placental bleed, and today he ditched work to bring me lunch (and yell at me for cleaning the house, because I'm not supposed to be doing jack crap right now).  He went back to work after, but I was so happy to see him.  He is just the best husband ever. 

Miss Anything?  Poached eggs.  Breakfast just isn't the same without them. 

Differences between Baby C and Conner and Ben at this point:  I was still super sick with the boys at this point, but my pregnancy with them was a breeze compared to all the issues with this little one.  But I have to remind myself... great pregnancy with them, ended in disaster.  Maybe this will be the exact opposite. 

Emotions:  I feel like I'm giving up.  So many things have already gotten in the way of a healthy pregnancy and I am hanging on to every thread of hope available to me. I have to fight for my baby. 

Difficulties this week:  Definitely yesterday's finding of the placental bleed. I guess I can't really be surprised, given the bleeding I woke up to on Monday. It is expected to resolve itself, but you can't tell a baby loss mom that everything will be okay and expect her to believe it.  We've been robbed of that kind of faith.  And I just have to add here - what happened with Conner and Ben was estimated to be a 1 in 10,000 chance.  I was that ONE.  Statistics mean nothing to me now. 

Movement: Not feeling anything, and little baby wasn't moving in the ultrasound yesterday.  Of course, I almost threw up with anxiety over it. Little babes better be moving next week or mama is going to be worried!

Food cravings/aversions:  Ice tea, ya'll. 

Symptoms: My face has broken out and I look like a teenager.  Also, my boobs are huge.  Well, huge for me, anyway.  Maybe now I can finally move out of training bras.  Haha, kidding.  Or am I?

Labor Signs:  Nope.  Thinking of omitting this question until 20 weeks so you don't all have to read this over and over again.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Happy when husband is here, moody when he is not. 

Looking forward to:  Um....

And now, of course, Baby C:

Baby had his/her hands up in the air like it was under arrest. You better be staying out of trouble in there!

Haaahahaha remember when I said it's creepy when they face the ultrasound? Look at that little brain! Is it just me, or does s/he kinda look like a puppy...

Tim and I also had some "milestones" this week:  I started my first day of my last grad class and Tim celebrated 4 years at the FD.  Well, it was more like two weeks ago but I forgot so I brought a cake over to him on Wednesday to make up for it.  

Tim was excited to take "baby's first day of school" pictures.  I'm holding a March of Dimes water bottle filled with orange juice to combat the low grade fever I had on Tuesday.  I'm also wearing a long, loose shirt to hide the fact that my jeans are unzipped haaaahahaha.

Tim's favorite   - carrot cake

Congrats Tim!