6 months!

6 months

Weight: 15 pounds, 3 ounces (30th percentile)
Length:  25.5 inches (30th percentile)
Head:  42 cm (jumped to the 16th percentile)
Clothing size: Some 6 month clothes (including the one in this picture), some 9 month clothes. I remember looking at 9 month clothes and thinking they were surely for toddlers, no? Wah. Shorts, pants, and pajamas are for sure 9 months. Shirts, onesies, dresses, rompers are still 6 months. Your 9 month clothes have some ample room, though. I guess it's my fault you keep growing though - I keep on feeding you.
Eye color: Looking more brown everyday, although people still comment on hazel and gray.
Hair: The summer is bringing out your highlights (one of your doctors even mentioned this the other day).
Nicknames:  Still babykins, and now, for some reason, I've added "babyboo" which your dad has adopted as well.  I don't even like it.  I don't know where it came from (ok, yes I do, I heard it on Teen Mom). I need to stop the babyboo madness.

EAT

You've tried a ton of new foods this past month, and it seems like your favorite is bananas!  You take the spoon from my hand and try to feed yourself.  I had a banana and peanut butter on toast every morning while I was pregnant with you, so no surprise with the banana lovin. Sweet potatoes gave you allergy induced eczema (which bothered me more than it bothered you). Carrots are probably your least favorite (and mine - carrots stain clothes!).  I have to admit that I taste each food before I give it to you and I don't blame you. Carrots are disgusting (although, when I feed them to you, I tell you that they are yummy. I think that's my duty as a mommy).

SLEEP

"Mommy! I'm awake!"

Going to bed earlier, around 8:30 now and sleeping almost 12 hours straight! Mommy gets to catch up on tv, reading, and wine when you go to sleep. 8:30 is my jam time. When you wake up, you do one of two things: roll onto your tummy and lay there patiently waiting for me, or lay on your back and kick your crib mobile until I hear it. I always wonder how long you've been awake before I come in!

ETA: Two nights ago, you got up like, every hour and then wanted to jam at 3 am. Finally got you back to sleep. Then you woke up for the day, 2 hours early. Thank you?

LIKES

Blowing raspberies. You've been doing this for awhile, but you have a new found appreciation for it. Sometimes, you'll be asleep, and then you'll yank your pacifier out of your mouth and start blowing raspberries at me, laughing hysterically until I finally coax you back to sleep again. You especially love to do it right after you are done nursing.
Red box (empty). They don't lie about kids loving boxes. I can give you this toy, and you dump all the shapes inside and play with this empty box the way daddy plays with trucks.

Picking out own toys. You did this at Babies R Us, with your aunt holding you.  Turns out, you are good at picking out your own toys.  You picked these plastic link animals and you can't get enough of (eating) them.
Sippy cup. It's madness, I tell you. I put the cup in front of you, you say "ooo" and start talking to it and shove it in your mouth.  You get some milk out of it, get frustrated because it's too hard, and eventually stick your thumb in your mouth.  But not before attempting to love on it a few more times. I think your love for the cup has prompted your bottle strike.
Food. Especially cereal. When you see it, your eyes light up and you say "mmmmmmmm" with every bite!
Jumperoo. Thank God (and Fisher-Price) for the jump-jump.  When I get tired from holding you and jumping you in my lap, this thing is the only piece of baby equipment that can simultaneously wear you out, keep you entertained, give me a chance to put on some makeup, and sound like an earthquake all at once.

"All this jumping is exhausting!"

Miranda. Or "doggy," as we call her.  You watch her do everything and anything - catch a ball, go outside, sit at the window, etc.  You don't even flinch when she licks your face. You try to catch that silly doggy, but she is way too fast for you. Unfortunately, once Miranda figured out that I do not want her to lick your face or hands (even sans food), she lost interest in you :(

Daddy. No one can make you laugh like daddy can. Seriously. He can walk weird, and you think this is the best thing ever.

When people say "hi." Cue BIG SMILES from baby Jordan. Doesn't matter who it is. I will need to have the stranger danger talk with you many times when you are older.
Mobile. Well, you like to kick it.

DISLIKES
Bottle. So, weaning you isn't happening until you can use a sippy cup more efficiently.  When you are at a babysitter's, they (well, grandma) has to feed you cereal mixed with a ton of milk since your bottle is just soooo 2 months ago.
Uncle. My only sibling.  And every time he approaches you, you wail. Not sure where it came from, but I call it payback from when his baby girl screamed everytime I held her.
Sitting still. Unless we are outside, you cannot sit still. We were at church the other day and you were climbing all over me, our bags, and your carseat like you were on American Ninja Warrior. However, you can almost make a whole sermon (while prompts Pastor to smile, laugh, and wave at us as I bring you to the other side of the glass doors to scream).
Getting your face wiped. "I don't need to be clean mom, I'm cute no matter what."


ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Among other things that I am surely forgetting...

Doctor thinks you will be an early crawler and stander!

Roll back to tummy. The day after you turned 5 months old, I put you on your beloved play mat.  I went to load up the car with bags of stuff to send you to grandma's, and I came back to get you and you were on your tummy.  I missed the whole thing!  You were surely confused when I told you good job and I was holding back tears.  I don't know why.  It's not like this was the first time you rolled over, just the first time from your back. And ever since then, I haven't been able to put you on your activity mat because you just flop right over to your belly. So, after much contemplation, I packed it up, keyboard and all. I almost cried. You watched me pack it up, curiously, and then got over it much faster than I did.

Baby burrito, anyone?

Rolling across the floor. Can't stop, won't stop, get it, get it.

And you roll far, far away from mommy. 

Sitting well, unsupported. Not long before you topple over, but the falling is tearless.

Getting things out of reach. Never has so much effort been put into something since me trying to get you to 37 weeks.
Trying to crawl! Well, kinda. More like trying to army crawl.
Better at sippy. Seriously, if you could just drink from the sippy before we go on a vacation, I'd be a happy mama.  I'm just sayin, there are some fruity frozen drinks calling my name (if anyone has been on a Royal Caribbean cruise, I've got just two words for you - Lava. Flow.).  I'm probably going to have to delete that last sentence for your baby book, right?


DEAR JORDAN

Dear babykins,

You're officially halfway to your first birthday and although I've been planning your first birthday since, oh, I don't know, the day I found out you were a girl, I know I am nowhere near ready for this milestone. Good thing there are still another 6 months, right?

Your personality cracks me up everyday.  You are so in love with life.  You are interested in everything and you try to get your hands on anything within your reach. There are nights where I know you are exhausted, but we'll be sitting in the rocker and all of a sudden you'll look at me, pop your pacifier out of your mouth, and start talking. You don't want to sleep.  You don't want to miss a single thing.

 I was holding you one day, and you turned to me and pressed your mouth against my cheek like you were giving me a kiss. It was the cutest event in my entire life. You and I are inseparable, but I am so glad that you are growing more and more comfortable being with other people. Just recently I came down with a 103 degree fever and had to call your auntie to come over and watch you until your daddy came home.  I could hear you downstairs crying for me, and every time you cried "mama" I almost got out of bed.. When your dad came home, you wouldn't let him put you to sleep.  I managed to get you to sleep and then I passed out until 8 am, the latest I've slept in for months. But I was still sick, so your daddy took you to your grandma's. I couldn't sleep or rest the whole day because I was so worried about you without me. But then my phone was flooded with pictures of you and your day out (courtesy of some selfies you took), and I relaxed. You were having fun.  You didn't cry for me once. Heartbreaking and reassuring, all at the same time.

I keep saying you're not a baby anymore.  You're moving to where you want to go (via rolling), eating (pureed) food, "talking," wearing clothes that I wish were in my wardrobe, and voicing your opinions (food?! YES!!!  change my outfit? WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH). When I hold you at night, I keep reminding myself that tomorrow, you'll only be bigger.

One day, I'll undoubtedly tell you all about how tired I was when you were this young (maybe when you have your own babies, perhaps?).  But I want you to remember this - you are always the favorite part of my morning, whether that is at 8 am or 3 am. Your smile makes my whole day. I can be in a horrible mood, and one smile from you will change everything.

Love you more than words can say, love you love you more each day.

Love,
Mom

Monthly photo dump

"I need every last lick of cereal!"

"A minion! Like my brothers!"

Playing with her firehouse

Selfies are so much fun!

Gimme that bubble!

Fun at church!

These shoes ....

Recognize the shoes?

From Conner and Ben's pregnancy announcement

KETCHUP

10 sentence catchup, or "ketchup" bahahahaha.... ok, so maybe I am the only one laughing at this, but I'm making it a "thing" now.

1. I'm car shopping! 
   
2. Tim got hurt at the FD and is currently home. 
3. Jordan got allergy induced eczema... from sweet potatoes (wierd).
4. I need 10 more participants for my research on perinatal grief
5. Guess who can sit for realz now? 
   
6. Got a new phone.
   
7. Preparing to wean Jordan :(
8. I'm so tired (not really an update, though).
9. Thinking of attending Share Union for Conner and Ben.
10. I have a fever of 103.. yay. So, I'll be catching up with everyone more, including everyone else's blogs, as soon as I feel better!(that's technically 11 sentences... and now 12, so I think I'll stop here.)

I never sang to them

There was a song in my head that I always imagined I would sing to my boys the day they were born.  I don't know why it was this song, but it was. There is a scene from the tv show ER where one of the doctors gives her baby up for adoption.  She finally lets go of her son, hands him over to his mother, and his adoptive mom sings "baby mine."  I always loved that scene.  Maybe that is why I loved it so much. Or maybe because one of my favorite country bands, Shedaisy, sang it once.  And when Conner and Ben were born, this song played in my head.

And I never sang it to them.

I don't know why.  I wanted to. It seemed right.  They could hear me.  I only had so much time with them. It would have been a nice memory. But I didn't do it.

"Baby Mine"

Baby mine, don't you cry.
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head close to my heart,
Never to part, baby of mine.

Little one, when you play,
Pay no heed what they say.
Let your eyes sparkle and shine,
Never a tear, baby of mine.

If they knew all about you,
They'd end up loving you too.
All those same people who scold you,
What they'd give just for the right to hold you.

From your head down to your toes,
You're not much, goodness knows.
But, you're so precious to me,
Sweet as can be, baby of mine.


"If they knew all about you, they'd end up loving you too."  I sometimes think that my time writing here on this blog is done.  But I'm not done talking about my boys yet, and I don't think I ever will be.

5 months!

FIVE MONTHS

Yes, I'm writing this as if I'm writing this to Jordan now... I tried transferring a ton of stuff into her scrapbook and it was a pain in the butt changing wording, so I decided to change things on Blogger to make the transfer easier :)

Weight: About 14 pounds
Length:  About 23.5-24 inches... it's hard to measure you when you are kicking so much!
Head: All I know is that you are finally fitting nicely into your 15 inch headbands. Leave it to mommy to base your head size on headband size!
Clothing size: 6 months, rather comfortably
Eye color: Who knows these days.  Still mostly gray, but sometimes they look blue, sometimes brown, sometimes green.  People cannot stop commenting on how pretty your eye color is.
Hair: Still lightening up!  We're starting to see a few small streaks of dirty blonde in there!
Nicknames: Babykins  - not sure where this came from, probably a mix of "baby" and "munchkins." I've been calling you this for awhile now. Daddy calls you sweetie, and Grandpa B still calls you nugget!

EAT

From this...

To this. 

Cue Jessica Simpson - Oh. My. Gah. You started cereal when you turned four months old and you STOPPED POOPING. We are talking about a baby who poops every afternoon between 2 pm and 4pm, and all of a sudden, you didn't.  The first day you didn't poop was on Father's Day (how nice of you).  But then I was concerned.  The doctor stopped you on rice cereal and started you on oatmeal cereal, since rice cereal is apparently infamous for constipating babies.  And then you still didn't poop from Tuesday-Friday, finally pooping at Grandma's house on a Saturday. But then you didn't poop again, so off to the doctor you went.  Turns out all that cereal is really slowing down your system!  You have no idea, though, because you are still the happiest baby ever. You still didn't poop when we took you (temporarily) off the cereal.

Hmm.  I just wrote a whole paragraph on your poop and shared it with the internet.  Bad mommy?

SLEEP

9:30 pm to 6:00 am, nurse, then back to sleep until about 9:00 am. Mommy feels like a whole new woman! I even sometimes stay up later than you and spend time with your daddy. I can do things without rubbing my eyes and almost passing out. I actually think you can go to bed much earlier than this, because your evening nap is either skipped or is being pushed back later, which may turn into your new bedtime!

LIKES
Still that lunchbox. Everytime I take it out, you laugh and say "ooooo."

Still that pacifier. Weaning from the wubby is going to be a pain in mommy's behind. We have created a monster.

Still tv. You gravitate to it if it is on. You are a satellite.

My hands are so yummy!

Hands. Chewing on them, to be exact.

Sassy ball. Flying supergirl Jordan tries to grab sassy ball from the air.

Ladybug ball. Bought this when I had no money because I thought you'd really like it.  Money well spent.

Island doll. 4th of July gift from Grandma.  We took it out of the bag, you reached for it, and hugged it tight. You have never done that with a doll before! The best part? You have a matching dress that Grandma bought for our cruise!

Whale teether. Mostly teethers in general now (you've finally realized what they are for), but this whale holds a special place in your heart. He lives on your changing table with Pat the Bunny, and keeps you company during diaper changes. Your face lights up and you start talking to it like an old friend when you see it.

Silly noises. Mostly from daddy, of course.

People watching. I'm afraid that you will be addicted to reality tv.

Sweater in July. Thanks, Chicago. 

Being outside. When you grow up, you'll probably have a career that involves you being outside.  I hope it's something like zoologist, and not garbage woman.

Reading books before naptime. You especially love flipping the pages yourself, but now you are really getting interested in the pictures.

Activity Mat. You've loved it since you were a few weeks old, and you have a new appreciation for it now that you can grab things and try to eat them (especially blue bear).

Bubbles. Because who doesn't love bubbles? We sit outside and blow them for awhile until I get annoyed with the bees.

DISLIKES
Naps. Oh, man.  Sometimes I just know you need one because you are so cranky and rubbing your eyes, but you go on a nap strike.  I have to really work at putting you down for a nap, but when you wake up you wake up talking and laughing and playing and kicking.

Crowds of people.  This hasn't changed much.  Your first 4th of July was spent in Galena, and you were having a blast in your stroller.  Random people were coming up to you telling you how cute you were, and you were laughing at them, leaving them "ooooo" ing and "awwwww"ing in your path. But then we went to dinner, and faced with a huge indoor place full of people proved to be too much. I ended up taking you to the... BALCONY (my biggest nightmare with a baby) and you fell asleep in my arms. Same happened with the rooftop party, waiting for fireworks.  Too many people, and you had a meltdown.  Once you had your mommy and away from the crowds of people, you were happy and of course trying to get everyone you saw to pay attention to you.  What gives, babykins?  What is the magic people quota and attention balance?

Kisses. Not a fan, unless they are from mommy or they are on your feet. I completely understand. I mean, why would you like other people slobbering on your face? So gross.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Sitting, propped by hands. Although now, when we sit on you the couch, you twist your body so that you fall over (on purpose) and start cracking up.  Mommy, you can't make me do anything!!!  I'm the boss of this house!!!

Real baby laugh.  You've been laughing for some time now , but now comes the real baby giggles. You laugh at Pat the Bunny that lives on your changing table and at daddy when he makes silly noises. The world is instantly cuter because you can really laugh now!

Rolling champ.  You've been doing this for two whole months now, but now you can do it on command. You know you don't have to do tummy time anymore - you can just roll over and get out of it! I am torn between being happy that you are such a rolly polly and being worried because without tummy time, you won't crawl!

Blowing raspberries/imitating. You love this. When you see mommy blow raspberries you try to do it.  We're working on sticking your tongue out now.

Getting toy out of reach.  Well, pacifier out of reach.  I put you down in your crib and turned your mobile on (which you think is hilarious) while I went to get ready for bed. I came back for you a few minutes later, and there was a pacifier in your mouth.  I didn't put it there, and I didn't even know it was in arms reach!

Holding on to things. I hate to admit this, but I was worried because you weren't grabbing things or holding on to things for awhile.  I've been told this was normal for your age, but you were hitting other milestones early and I guess I just thought getting you to grab things would be easier. You would go to get something, hold it for a second, and drop it.  Now you can really grab and reach for toys and other things that spark your interest and terrify me (no, you cannot have that fork. or knife. or doggy that is licking her butt).

Sippy cup practice. We're working on it. You can hold it, get it to your mouth, and then that's about it.  As soon as you see it, you grab the two handles. You have yet to master the whole tipping it to your face deal, which makes you frustrated because theressomuchmilkinthesippycupandyouwantitrightnow!

Interacting.   You really understand things now!  If I do something and tell you to do it too, you try to do what mommy is doing. You are constantly talking, which is adorable (but we will probably have to keep you out of quiet places like libraries).  You are the biggest ham ever, trying to get people to pay attention to you.  You love communicating, and sometimes you try to tell "jokes" or simply love to tell us about your plans for the day while we change your diaper. I think you are planning on world domination, but I won't be sure until you are finally modifying your nouns and enunciate all your words.  Oh, and until you are finally speaking some real English.

DEAR JORDAN

Dear Jordan,

I have something to confess.  When you were a tiny, adorable newborn, I was terrified of being left alone with you. You will hear this a lot when you are older - babies are hard work.  And here I was, totally new to the parenting game, and your daddy was off to the fire department on 24 hour shifts. I was alone with you, all day, too proud to ask anyone for help. We were up all day, all night, and I was exhausted. I was still trying to figure out why you were crying, what you needed, when to feed you, and how to change diapers without being peed on.

And now that newborn stage is over, in the blink of an eye. I miss you being so tiny and I even miss how you needed me to hold you to fall asleep and stay asleep, even if that meant I got none myself. But I have to say, I love this age so much more.  I wake up in the morning, and I cannot wait to pick you up from your crib.  Sometimes you open your eyes slightly and see that it's me, and smile. Sometimes you stay sleeping, and I hold you for a few minutes before I rouse you awake with a diaper change.  Sometimes you are already wide awake, laughing and gurgling and excited for mommy to pick you up.  What was once the hardest part of the day, getting you to sleep, is now my favorite part of the day.  Our bedtime routine consists of jammies at 7, some down time with mommy and daddy playing and watching tv, bedtime prayers, bedtime stories, once last nursing session, and then finally turning on your sleep sheep and rocking you in your glider. I love the quiet time, just you and me, you watching me until you fall asleep.

You have strong, bubbling personality. You aren't afraid to tell people what you like and don't like. Don't want to sit? You scream.  Don't want to be kissed? Scream. You like the ceiling fan? Cue smiles and laughter. You love some random thing that only you can see? Kicking and arm flailing and talking. You are really, really interested in people (but not crowds of them all at once).  I will never forget walking down main street in Galena on Independence Day, you over my shoulder, listening to the people behind us commenting on how cute the baby with all the hair and the red white and blue ensemble was.  Then you, upon hearing them, smiling and laughing at them which made them double over with the "awwwwwwwwww"s. And let's not forget us sitting in the DeSoto house in the quiet tv room so you can nap.  You were so tired, but once I sat down with you and you realized there were other people sitting behind us, you were quick to turn yourself around, stare at them, and smile. Of course, this prompted the "omg look at that baby" comments... which followed us into the bathroom, the hallways, etc. You love the attention, and people comment on how happy you are (this was before the infamous meltdown on the rooftop).

You still prefer mommy over anyone else, and I love it. I still prefer you over everyone else, too. There's a song I made up, that I sing to you at night when you are restless, with only two lines - "baby and mommy, mommy and baby."  It puts you right to sleep. I pray every night that you and I stay close our whole lives.

I love you in the morning, and in the afternoon, I love you in the evening, and underneath the moon.

Mommy

Monthly photo dump

We love visiting daddy!

Pat the Bunny

Stanley Cup Champions!

Just a little spit up, mom. No big deal. 

The flash is too bright!

Father's Day

Fourth of July in Galena!

THAT FACE!!!

Galena Vineyards

Rooftop party, before the infamous meltdown

Family picture at Galena Vineyards, 4th of July

It hit me like a ton of bricks

via Project Heal

When my sister-in-law texted me saying, "OMG! 18 months!"

And it took me a second to realize she was talking about my sons.

Whose birthday I forgot.

Even though my Google calendar sent me a reminder.

Time is cruel. It passes by so slowly and so quickly, all at once.

I still say good morning and good night to them, everyday.

I pray for them every night.

I look at Jordan and wonder who she resembles the most.

I wonder how I will tell her about them.

I wonder if they are happy.

I wonder if they forgive me.

I wonder who they would have been.