Face palms, everywhere.
The day that I was told I would be delivering my boys with no hope of their survival, I thought of what I wanted the aftermath to be like. At first, I wanted everything to be over and done with. I wanted to go home, hide, cry, and never speak to anyone about what happened. I was ashamed. I failed, and now my boys were paying the ultimate price for it.
But after a few days, I knew that my boys would need a voice in this world and that I was the only person who could be their voice. I wanted their legacy not to be of grief, but of love.
We are walking again in the March for Babies in honor of Conner and Benjamin. Last year, we were the third highest family team in terms of donations in Chicago. That is HUGE!!! We are so happy that we were able to make such a difference in memory of our baby boys. The March of Dimes funds research to prevent preterm labor as well as support families and babies during NICU stays. While we could not save our boys, we want to do everything we can to prevent tragedies like ours happening to others.
Unfortunately this year, I have found that the response to us walking this year has been extremely low. Most people are not walking with us again, and most people are not donating again this year. I expected this, and I completely understand that people cannot always donate money or do not always have the time to do things. But I want to put something into perspective...
Likes on FB for Jordans pictures - hundreds.
Likes on FB for Conner and Ben/March of Dimes - eight.
EIGHT.
Seems as though I'm not doing as good of a job using my voice as last year.
Okay, I think I'm rambling. That isn't the point. The point is, response be damned, we are walking again this year. Every penny helps.
We are asking our friends and family to help us raise money to help save other babies. Maybe someday, babies born at 22 weeks gestation will have a chance of survival - and hopefully, they will thrive. If you would like to donate to our team, you can go to:
"Their tiny feet go before us to show us the way home."
With my sincerest love and thanks,
Krystal
Thank you for walking again and for raising donations. I will of course be happy to donate. I wish I was in Chicago so I could walk with you guys.
ReplyDeleteI really hate the "stigma" associated with loss and how that plays out on FB. You've mentioned before on here how ppl react (or rather DON'T react) when you post something about the boys, and I've seen in in my own life too. It's a hard pill to swallow. All three of your children are beautiful though and you are such a wonderful mother to ALL of them. I know you'll keep being a voice for Conner and Ben <3
You are the sweetest - thank you so much for donating. I will think of Petey when we walk as well :) I really hope someday, women like us who talk about our losses can help change the stigma associated with it. One step at a time, right?
DeleteKeep doing what your doing and you'll be making a difference no matter how many people are following you. That's how I look at it at least....almost as if you're given "one year" to do things in your childs name and then you're expected to stop. That's how it seems to me at least, the two walks I participate in I don't expect to have anyone want to join. I'm ok with that though because I will....I'll continue the legacy even if I'm walking the path alone with just me and Thomas (and hopefully Jim, lol)
ReplyDeleteYes! I've noticed the "one year rule" as well. And you know I'll walk with you! You just give me a time and place and I will be there!
Delete(first - I love the pontifical face palm...)
ReplyDeletemost importantly, I love that you're still an advocate for your sons, even if the "public" doesn't have the same fervor... you are showing them (I guess I mean both the "public" and Connor & Benjamin) every day how wonderful of a mother you are to your sweet boys!
and I'm with Chickin - I wish we were closer to Chicago, I'd love to come walk with you!!
I was going to go for a Jesus face palm but figured that was crossing a line, lol. Should I be laughing at that? Anyway, thank you. I hope I can continue being a voice for loss moms, although I sure wish I wasn't in this camp.
DeleteI am doing the race as well and will be thinking of your sweet boys <3
ReplyDeleteAwesome! I did see that on your blog. I love that so many people are participating near their hometowns!
DeleteI'm sorry the response hasn't been as big this year. But I am so proud of you for pushing forward and continuing being a voice for your boys! The ones that join you are the ones that matter <3 Now I'm off to find you on Facebook ;)
ReplyDelete:) Don't have a FB (for many reasons - losing Conner and Ben being one of them) but my husband is. Hope you didn't search too hard before giving up!
DeleteYes I gave up quiet quickly! ;)
DeleteI have fears about #SpreadHappinessForPreston for upcoming years for the same reasons. It seems society believes we should be over our losses after a year's time, but that's just not how it works. I'll be happy to donate for Conner & Benjamin. Thank you for walking. Something I haven't had the strength to do.
ReplyDeleteI know that fear. I've already noticed such a decrease in support for our boys, after time has gone by and after Jordan arrived (and even during my pregnancy). But no matter what, I"ll be participating in spreading happiness for Preston every year :)
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